and i do it all with a smile.
10a the phone rings: office number, should i answer?
decisions, decisions... i hit green and before the phone reached my ear, the fireworks began.
it was my GM ripping into me like a backwoods truck driver; in that short, poignant assault he managed to throw out more profanities than a one hour chris rock hbo special...a fete that left me most impressed. every mistake on the company's website was my fault; as were the mistakes on ticketmaster's website; it was my fault that other people didn't copy him on emails; U.S. occupation of Iraq...my fault; lakers didn't make the playoffs...you guessed it, all me; "armando, and why the f**k do you only have two eyes?" -"i don't know, but i can assure you that it's being taken care of as we speak."

an hour later i walk into my office, calmly and collected, turn on my computer check some emails...and off i go to the GM's office. not scared, not worried; on the contary, very happy, thinking more about last night's movie than the current matter at hand.. and with that in my mind, why wouldn't i be happy? i get to the office, he's on the phone. chat with his assistant for a bit, then i hear my name from the adjacent office, "MAN-DO." the two minutes of waiting served but one purpose, freaking the living shit out of me...now i'm thinking if he pops his top and i react, i could end up out of a job sooner than i anticipated--keep cool armando, keep your "fucks" to a minimum--i walked in...
"hey whats up mando, everything squared away?"
"uhhhh, yeah, fixed our page; talked to the folks at ticketmaster; made sure you get copied on all future emails; came to a two year agreement with Iraqi resistance leaders; sat with both Kobe and Phil and told them that the Triangle just wouldn't work with our current front line; and had a third eye sewn into the lower back of my neck."
"good job, let me know how everything else comes along."
"sure thing..."
[exit stage left] "that wasn't so bad, was it? (but what i was really thinking is: WHAT THE FUCK?! AIN'T THAT SOME BI-POLAR SHIT!)