i'm back. like jesus, only without the freaky wounds.

the truth is i'm only back for one reason, or better said, one person. so as to avoid any confusion: saira, this is for you.

i miss you; i can't say i understand why you've retreated into yourself or perhaps i'm to blame for something. i refuse to spend this space rationalizing, whining, apologizing, lamenting, self-loathing, explaining, i just plain refuse. i miss you and that's really all i want to say you.

i'm here. where i've always been. i've never left.

ag.

this is the last song i will ever sing

its said that all good things must come to an end, the inverse must also hold true; as such i'm ending this blog. its run its course, served its purpose and now it comes to a grinding halt.
i can't really see the point in it anymore, it's ceased as a creative outlet for my thoughts and emotions...at best its become a watered down version of how i feel - like the nasty excuse for orange juice they serve up at McDonalds...who the hell likes that shit, I'd rather have sunkist. whats more emo than killing your own blog?
and thats the way these things end; not with a bang, with a fizzle.

bad news like twinkies

heartbreaks and headaches: they seem to arrive in pairs.
and just like that its all changed...

such a little thing, but the difference it makes. thank you :-p

hope?

on being drunk.

i've come to accept that i'm an alcoholic at heart, or at the very least that I prefer my inebriated state of being over my perceived reality. i'm desperately lookng for something, someone, somewhere to paint the life back into my reality; my liver's beckoning for any sign of salvation. did i ever mention that i hate reggaeton? not so much related, but equally as important to mention...my ears are seeking salvation from this most vile sound that has smitten the earth in its entirety. here's a philosophical question for everybody...if a reggaeton song plays in an empty forrest does it still make your ears bleed? food for thought.

good night.

this is a modern world

I'm home on a saturday night...i still haven't quite decided whether or not this is a good thing, i expect to have an answer by post's end.
much to david's amusement, i'm listening to jets' "orange rhyming dictionary" for the 1,287,379th time; i find it breaks up the monotony in my life brought on by jawbreaker's "24 revenge therapy." truth is i've long passed my "blake-phase" (that was soooooo 2000), i'm on to greener pastures now...after a brief stint with old favs "dianogah," i'm now on to neil young---a man who at nearly sixty years old, can still hand me my ass on a platter. i don't even think i'd put up a good fight.
i could rant on forever about bands that rock and those that suck (see post from April 11, 2005), but i won't, only because i'm much too lazy...tonight.

final answer: yes, a day of rest was in order. it feels good to be home.

"Don’t have to explain myself to you
I don’t give two fucks about your review"
wise words from a mr. paul weller.

this is my private life.

sunday 8:30p i'm actually looking forward to work mañana: odd. i had a great weekend, that's all anybody needs to know. don't hate.

The disco makes me sick I
Wear the wrong clothes
I say the wrong things
You know I can't dance
My feet are much too wide (I'm on the outside)
-d.elfman